Clunk, clunk, clunk...do you hear that? It’s the sound of my brain churning & working. Not such a well-oiled machine these days – children will do that to you. Baby brain they call it while you’re pregnant. People smiling politely as you return tea bags to the fridge & milk to the pantry. “Ahhhh”, they say “baby brain”, happy to be able to pinpoint an explanation for this vague and slightly troubling behaviour. What they often don’t tell you is that it never seems to return to its former glory (well, perhaps glory is something of an exaggeration but bear with me) and the months (often years) of sleep deprivation that follows the arrival of your precious bundle does nothing, absolutely nada, to help matters.
So, as I was saying...my brain has been clunking (slowly) away. A blog is something I have been thinking of for some time. Self doubt has always won to this point – why would anyone want to read about me? I am not particularly interesting and don’t feel I have anything groundbreaking to share. I love reading other people’s blogs – especially the food blogs with their glorious pictures. But then I slowly came to the conclusion that perhaps a blog doesn’t need to be about whether other people want to read it. Instead this is for me. For me to try and empty my brain of random thoughts and ideas and perhaps even work itself into better shape.
I don’t imagine I am the first or the last to make that statement. And I guess part of me (hello ego) does hope that someone may be out there reading what I happen to write. They may even nod their head or smile – but I won’t get my hopes up just yet!
The name of my blog is Peace & Gratitude. Because that is how I would like to live my life and this is my journey. I don’t feel that I am a particularly ‘at peace’ kinda person. I am quickly annoyed and frustrated. And too often I fail to feel thankful for my little life that really does deserve to be thought of more fondly. In an attempt to take back some ‘me’ time I started doing yoga again. It lasted two weeks (although I do have extremely good intentions to return in the very near future!) but in those two weeks I sought out some prayer flags to assist my transformation. I chose some that had wonderful affirmations. Words that made my partner roll his eyes heavenward and mutter something about hippies. But I love them and my favourite was ‘I live in peace and gratitude’. I can't say that I do as yet but I plan to enjoy my journey towards it.